I generally like to have a flash fiction collection or novella-in-flash on the go at all times. It means that when I see a flash fiction competition I want to enter, I can write something to enter and grow a book at the same time. It feels efficient. And I’m all about feeling productive.
So, after Mae in Quinquennia (available here) and The Art of Escapology (coming soon with Bearded Badger Press) were completed and in various stages of being published or seeking a publisher, it was time to start something new. As any author does (I think), I keep an eye on what else is being published, trends etc. I noticed a few calls for submissions about the climate emergency. Obviously this is something which concerns me. I’m an almost lifelong vegetarian, driver of an electric car, staunch recycler and gardener. The last part has me thinking about biodiversity and the extremes of drought and other weather occurrences. Perhaps this was what I should be writing about? At the time, I was grieving and took enormous comfort from the natural world – perhaps it would help my writing resonate? I set about having the rough theme in my mind of how we interact with the world and the ways it interacts with us - the generosity it has for us, such as soothing our mental health, and the ways we abuse the relationship through pollution, over-consumption, carelessness. This was a political idea, neatly seated in the zeitgeist. This would surely find its way to publication, wouldn’t it? But… I wrote a few pieces, then I found that whenever I thought about writing some more, I mostly stared at a blank piece of paper instead. I didn’t have that desperate yearning to crack on with it. If anything, it was more reminiscent of being back at school and not wanting to do my homework. I was dragging myself through it because I thought I should and not necessarily because I wanted to. Needless to say, as a collection it didn’t progress quickly. Usually, if I get in the zone, I get quite consumed and have to press on until it’s finished. At the same time, I was getting increasingly frustrated with my writing career. This happens fairly frequently – I’m not suited to the waiting or constant rejection parts, though, really, who is? I took quite a few breaks which wasn’t really like me either. I think I finished The Art of Escapology early in 2021 and by Christmas of that year I had a few climate flashes and a novel in progress. I was mostly okay with the novel. I was quite out of love with flash. By Christmas, there were tears and moaning to the husband. All the usual: I’m never going to make it/why do I bother/am I throwing my life away?/are people getting sick of me blathering on with little to show for it?/ are people laughing at me for calling myself an author? Etc. Anyway, it was one of those chats where it became clear I had lost my way. Did any of the above even matter if I was enjoying myself? Because surely I was doing that? Wasn’t I? Was I? No, I clearly wasn’t. I wasn’t enjoying my flash work in progress at all. Clearly, as described above, it is all too easy to forget about enjoying yourself. We’re a bit weird about it, us humans. We can get so caught up in getting things done or progressing that we forget we’re meant to like the process too. Or maybe that’s my own personal tendency. Still, I realised I was not meant to write a political collection however well it sat in the current zeitgeist. Yes, that collection should be written. Yes, we do need to put these issues on our collective conscience but does it have to be me that does it? Well, err, no. I guessed not. No one had a gun to my head and it wasn’t exactly coming naturally. So, if I wasn’t meant to be doing that, what was I meant to be doing? I thought back to my favourite projects so far. They all had strong female characters. Real women, with flaws, but women who had a determined or naughty or rebellious streak. Quirky women. Funny. A bit weird or different. Maybe sarcastic. Stories that could make you laugh and make you cry. Stories with unexpected elements to them. God, I really wanted to write a rebellious, ballsy woman! I also loved the novella-in-flash form. It’s a hard form which provides a lot of challenge. But it’s also a brilliant form for getting creative with. And the last time I wrote one, it was an accident to Mae (blog). Maybe this time, I could do it on purpose. There were, at this point, three weeks to go until the Bath novella-in-flash deadline and I thought, should I? Was it possible? To write one from scratch in three weeks? As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I knew it was a challenge I’d have to rise to. There’s a certain thrill to having the pressure of a deadline. And, pretty much overnight, Violet Vee was born. It was so long since I’d felt so excited to write. It would have been harder to keep me away from the laptop. I wrote with no expectation that anyone would like it. That was the whole point – I needed to write whatever I needed to write. I needed to enjoy writing it. And I really enjoyed Violet. Like Mae before her, she pretty much appeared whole and I sort of consider her a real person, even if that’s a bit odd. She probably represents a lot of traits I wish I had more of. She’s certainly aspirational in the way she grabs life by the balls, even if her morals are sometimes questionable. But she isn’t a hard woman. She’s loving and caring and passionate about the things that matter to her. But she has a delectable naughty, unpredictable streak which was so much fun to write. I guess what Violet has taught me is that in a difficult world, with very serious concerns, with wars, climate emergencies, pandemics, serious threats to our very existence, it is extremely important to have a mental escape. We don’t just need serious books about serious issues. We also need books that we can curl up in a comfy chair and laugh and cry with and perhaps occasionally squeal with shock with. We need books that lift us and revive us. We need books that remind us to grab life with both hands and wring every last scrap of enjoyment from it. And maybe that’s what I’m supposed to write. And maybe that’s okay. Violet Vee is now available on Amazon.
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